Jack Frost

Jack Frost is getting a second chance to be the worlds coolest dad


...if he dosen't melt first

Lets put it this way. If this movie wasin't made this blog would be never made. To put it blantly this is the best film to ever exist in the history of ever. What we got here is a loving father who loves to rock hard, so hard that he neglects his family and even ditches them on christmas. On his way to his christmas gig he has a change of heart and decides to turn back. bad idea. Looks like you took an alternate route mr. frost. down a snowy cliff. ha ha ha.

Jack Frost is dead, never coming back.

The son (Charlie) who is heartbroken then makes a snowman in his front yard, then plays his dads magic harmonica then boom. Jack is back in action. Charlie finally gets to spend the quality time he never got with his father. They embark on wacky and zany adventures together. Teach some bullies a lesson, scores a game winning goal in a hockey game, and gets taught the J shot!

But all good things must come to an end as Jack Frost realizes that snow melts. They travel to Alaska where Jack says his final goodbye's then swirls and swooshs away in some magic dust shit. This is movie is great, it has laffs, it has drama, it has spirit.

5 J shots outta 5 game winning goals

Dunston Checks In

nations have changed
loyalties have shifted
enemies have grown

but we can still count on one man

cue a monkey appearing from the background only to pull out a firearm and unload on 'man' changing it into 'ape'

this is how the trailer for Dunston Checks In opens. it goes on to show our main character Dunston getting into all kinds of trouble: playing in the bathtub, rolling into champagne bottles as if they were bowling pins, and falling down what appears to be an elevator shaft... sounds pretty funny right? well, i guess if you find bestiality funny then this is the movie for you. that's right bestiality. the trailer goes on to show Dunston massaging a woman's bare back. but that's not all! it goes even further showing Dunston slapping the woman's toweled buttocks only to have the woman shout out in ecstasy "i like it rough" . i don't know about you but this is not the kind of movie i want my children watching or anyone for that matter. bestiality is not funny, it's a sin.

charles' movie rating: one giant rotten banana out of one family friendly banana

Death Wish V: The Face of Death

okay i'll start off this post by just stating that i actually havent watched this whole movie but the small part that i did catch on tv was to die for. charles rigs like this remote soccer ball thing with some c4 or some shit anyway makes it roll around this dudes house setting off all the alarms and this guy is like all freaked out grabs his gun only to find this soccer ball so now the guy laughs and that's the end of that right? wrong... dead wrong. the soccer ball explodes in this guys face and his whole upper body is aflame and it cuts to charles' face and he's smiling because he just granted another wish....




a death wish

MVP: Most Vertical Primate

No deaf downers in this one like the disgusting first movie. This time its all about wheelin and dealin. Bustin trix winning that big competition. He pulls it off, but also manages to win the hearts of many aspiring skaters. If this little chimp can do it, hell, why the hell can't you? Come along for the ride, its time to get radical.

Fuck the hate, just skate.

Batman Begins

so as you probably know count and i both loved the dark knight and when we heard there was another batman we almost died so we go to blockbuster and pick up a copy we got the popcorn and the lights down and we're ready for ultimate batman after about an hour we realized this was a huge mistake why you might be asking well for one thing where the heck (yeah i said it) is the joker? in a better batman movie that's where no instead we get two different asian dudes and some tall prick pretending to be some ras al ghul (never heard of him) guy i mean was the director smoking drugs or something going around switching actors on us and thinking we wont notice well i got an idea for you mister christopher nolan get heath ledger i mean have you even seen the dark knight?


charles movie rating: two tee-o'd customers want their money back out of farts

Home Alone II: Lost In New York

Remember the two hilarious bandits from the horrible first movie? Well they're back! and this time more with their eyes on the prize. But they may have someone in their way yet again, and little mcaulay mcculkin has seem to be left without his family yet again (are you kidding me) This time he is all alone in the big NYC. Big skyscrapers and the pigeon lady ain't gonna save you kid

ha ha ha.

Homeward Bound

chance, shadow and sassy the cat sure get into a whole lot of trouble when the owners are away you'll be in stitches after the porcupine scene (haha) but there are times when you may want to ask the children to leave the room for a quick snack (river scene anyone?) but dont let that stop you from having a rip roaring dogs rule cats drool good time you'll love this film!